Tems Speaks Out on Toxic Relationship, Says “Love Is Not Ownership”

|By Queen Banigo

Popular Nigerian singer, Tems, has opened up about her experience in a toxic relationship, revealing that her former partner was “obsessive and possessive.”

Speaking during an interview with media personality Angie Martinez, the Essence crooner shared her perspective on love, stressing that healthy relationships should be built on partnership rather than control.

Tems explained that the relationship contradicted her personal beliefs about love, noting that genuine affection does not involve ownership.

“I have experienced love where I thought it was love, but it was more like someone trying to own you,” she said. “They think that they own you, and that’s not love.”

She described toxic relationships as emotionally draining, adding that in many cases, the toxic partner may not even be aware of their behaviour.

According to the singer, love should not be confused with obsession or possession.

“Love is not obsession, and it is not possession. I can’t own another human being,” she said. “Love is when both of you become one—not in control, but in connection.”

Tems added that many people have encountered toxic relationships with partners who genuinely believe they are expressing love.

“They say they love you, but they don’t even realise that they don’t. Because you can’t love someone you feel you own,” she stated.